“Wake up, Dakota!” “Successful?” Woah, I can talk… “Successful…” * Heart pounding in my ears. Boom. Swish. Boom. Swish. Up an hour and a half before the alarm. Because, reasons. No shit. Reasons are never in short supply. I mean, generalized anxiety is one thing. Hell, sometimes if I’m really busy I don’t even notice … More Wake up, Dakota!
Last week I got my pre-op testing done. EKG came back normal. Lab work came back normal. Lung x-ray came back normal. Only thing left was the COVID test, which I did this morning. COVID came back negative. I am CLEARED for surgery. Holy shit, it doesn’t get any more REAL than this. So, of … More So, This is Really Happening…
On Sunday I asked The General if This Surgery is going to kill me. The frenzy was coming. I knew. I could hear it roaring my way. I tried to duck and cover. On Monday, for many reasons which are unimportant to this particular post, I ended up in that frenzy… almost cancelled the surgery … More It’s Getting REALer and REALer
1976: 8 years old. The surgeon took my tonsils. I remember the Snoopy stuffed animal on my bed, signed by all of the nurses. I remember missing Truth or Consequences, my favorite show. I remember three nights in the hospital. It was a different time in so many ways. But the silence… my silence… it … More Afraid of the Dark
This post has been percolating in my mind for decades, and especially so for most of the last decade. The earlier decades I cut and burned my own flesh, attempted suicide, and drank and drugged AT these words. The earlier part of the last decade, since getting clean and sober, I tried to RUN AWAY … More Please… Stop Telling Me How Strong I Am
Originally Posted by Dakota M Draconi, MSW on Breaking the Silence Blog: Here in this time of the COVID-19 pandemic, it’s possible people are taking time to contemplate on the important things in life. I know I am. Safety is certainly foremost on most of our minds. The fact is, far too many people are sick, dying, … More The Important Things
Dear Qory… You would be 30 Years Old tomorrow. So, I reflect. Because of course I must. Because you would be turning 30. I wonder where your life would be today. Maybe you’d still be battling your demons. Anxiety. Flashbacks. Nightmares. Night terrors that caused you to pace the house instead of sleeping, carrying a … More Happy Heavenly Birthday Q
Some. Days. Just. Suck. Today is one of those days. I didn’t want to get out of bed. But I did. Barely. I didn’t want to function. But I am… as best I can. It’s been a challenging week, really. We’ve been celebrating my growth a lot here at MiSFiT in MoTioN. And I thank … More Some. Days. Just. Suck.
I bet you think the title has a typo. 😜 Last weekend I attended the Women in Recovery retreat at St. Anthony Retreat Center in Three Rivers, California. My 10th year. The retreat’s 20th year. 2010. My first year. I wasn’t even sober yet. I had 84 days of recovery from codependency. Well. Um. Sort of. … More Shift Happens
Fifteen years ago, I attended my first Take Back the Night. Take Back the Night is an international event and non-profit organization with the mission of ending sexual, relationship, and domestic violence in all forms. Hundreds of events are held in over 30 countries annually. (Wikipedia) 2004. Fall. My first semester as a student at Fresno … More Take Back the Night
MiSFiT in MoTioN 